“I’m sorry.”

Recently, I had a little spat with someone.   To many or maybe some, the subject is probably a menial thing and in all honesty, if I heard my friend ranting about it, I would have told it was a silly matter too. But when you are in the heat of the moment, every small thing is a big deal.

Up until the moment I came to my upcoming realisation, in my head and in my heart, I kept chanting to myself, Isn’t that person sorry? I am so sick and tired of making little compromises to how I view loving someone is like when that person doesn’t even bother to want to do the same. 

Then that person asked, And you won’t forgive me?

The first thought that came into my head was, Why should I? You never even said you are sorry.

Then another, But Liz, you never said sorry too. Yet I still forgave you.

Romans 5:5-8 

And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.  

You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous person, though for a good person someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

You see, I never said sorry to God before I found Him and accepted Christ into my life. In fact, prior to meeting Him, I didn’t even know I was in the wrong! I didn’t know that I have wronged against Him a punishment worthy of spiritual eternal death; how was I even to know that every thing I’ve done before truly knowing Him was probably out of my own “moral reasoning” rather than obedience to Him?

Yet. Despite of all this. Christ still died on the Cross to save me and perfected it by His resurrection, proving victorious over death. He literally did nothing wrong, but He still chose to save me.

And does He ever hold it against me every time I disobey even after knowing Him? No! Like a loving earthly father would, He disciplines me yet He still loves and cares for me with open arms, just like the Parable of the Prodigal Son (Luke 15:11-32).

Coming back to my spat. Ever since I knew Him, I have made it into a lifestyle to live after and like Christ did. It is never easy because the world and sin tell me to live otherwise and sometimes the right thing can feel and look wrong. But… Sigh If I do want to do what Jesus would do, and I do want to, I guess I’m going to have to forgive that person despite them not ever going to apologise, huh. 

My silent treatment and scowl were not regretted though. In my own Liz way, I disciplined that person good. And strawberries. Because that’s today’s choice of a peace offering. 

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